Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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