So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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