He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
