She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
