My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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