Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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