I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
