Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
