who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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