If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
this just has baby written all over it
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
