DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
