I wanna bring you to show and tell
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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