found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
