Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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