The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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