Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
