A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
