Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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