hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i believe in u and ur pee
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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