Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
