Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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