He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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