hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
birth control should be required to get into college
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
