I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
