Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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