i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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