Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I stole a fireplace last night.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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