So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
40s are totally the cure
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
