i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
