You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
this will be a night to untag.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
