shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
