are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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