So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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