Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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