i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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