he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
