you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
