Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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