how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
