Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
