i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
