I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
