STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
