UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
