Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
