their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
