wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
