maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
