I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
