i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Randomize
